It's A Stick Up
by HarumiLove
Summary: Shawn gets himself into trouble and of course Lassiter has to come and save the day. But that event turns things upside down for the both of them.


Author's note: I don't own anything Psych related

also, things may be changed for this story and not 100% accurate for the show

Also, I had fun with this! XD I recently became a Shassie fan and I'm in love LOL

Hope You Enjoy!

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Chapter 1

Lassiter sighed as he plopped a folder of papers onto his desk. He was in a terrible mood. To everyone else that would be nothing new but for him it was an especially bad mood. He was tired, grumpy, hungry, coffee free, and was being tired mentioned? Sitting down he pinched the bridge of his nose. God, last night was just awful; he hardly got any sleep at all. All because of that stupid dream; that dream that he would have from time to time. Well, it wasn't exactly the same dream over and over but they were all centered on the same theme. After he would have one of these dreams he wouldn't be able to sleep for the rest of the night. Lassiter had finally fallen asleep in the morning and ended up putting his snooze on a couple of times. This caused him neither to have time for breakfast nor to have coffee.

He stared at the folder and papers piled on his desk; not in any mood to look through any of it. Don't get him wrong he loved his job and he loved putting the scum bags of the Earth in jail; he just didn't particularly like doing any work in this kind of condition he was in. All of the noise the office was making wasn't helping at all. He pushed a button on his computer and waited for it to turn on; closing his eyes to relax for a few moments. Once he knew his device was ready, he looked at his bright screen and squinted. He opened up a few files that he needed to look over and opened the folder to sprawl some papers around. Sighing again he felt like he was about to pass out right on top of his work.

Lassiter's phone went off in a normal ringtone and he groaned to answer it; hoping it would be any sign of good news. Of what? He didn't know and didn't really care. However, as the call went on it was anything but good news. "Guster? What's wrong?...Woah calm down; don't talk so fast. I can barely understand you; where are you? Excuse me? What?!" The detective shot up, as if he had all of the energy in the world. He gritted his teeth. "I'll be right there."

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The head detective parked his car behind a large crowd of people and yellow tape and police officers. Getting out of the car he slammed his car door and walked pass all of the annoying gapping people and nodded to the police officers as he walked by. His head was pounding with pain and he desperately needed coffee. He saw Guster in the middle of the cluster of the officers that stood behind the line of police cars. He stood behind. "Guster."

Burton turned around and sighed for relief. "Thank goodness that you're here."

"Anything new happen?" Carlton's eyes scanned around and the big building in front of them.

"No not really. Only that you are requested to talk on the phone."

The detective's eyes widened some. "What?"

An officer walked over to them and nodded before giving Lassiter the phone.

He took it with a grumpy expression and held the device to his ear. His eyebrows furrowed together. "Do you mind telling me what the hell is going on?"

"Dude, it's like a mansion in here. The floors are nicely clean; I don't even mind sitting on them and I can totally see my reflection. The air conditioner is always on so it has this nice crisp feel to it…like an autumn day…"

"Spencer, stop fooling around!" Lassiter gritted his teeth. He looked at a nearby officer. "Get me a damn coffee _now_."

The young officer nodded quickly and scurried away to obey the order.

"Lassie, you can't order people around like that; people are going to think you're mean. But don't worry I know the real you."

The detective sighed and rolled his eyes. "Do you mind telling me how you ended up like this?"

"Well, I don't really have time to talk..you see….I have a gun pointed at my head right now." He said with a grin.

Inside of the building, a bank, Shawn was a hostage among others while a greasy looking man quivered and licked his lips as his gun was at Shawn's head.

"He says he wants something." He looks at the robber. "What was it you wanted again?"

The grease man jerked his gun toward the fake psychic. "A getaway car!"

"No, no. You can't get that yet; no you need to milk this as much as you can man."

"Spencer, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" Lassiter barked.

Shawn covered the phone to muffle the voice on the other hand. "Listen," he directed his attention to the now confused robber. "you can get whatever you want. Oh." He snapped his fingers. "How about some pizza? I'm in the mood. You like pineapple?"

Lassiter waited on the other end, his patience getting thin. The young officer brought him his coffee and he sipped it angrily when Shawn started to speak again.

"Well, you see we are going to need some pizzas."

"Where are you Spencer? Are you with everyone else or alone with him?"

"We would like the pineapple to be alone; not with the other toppings."

Lassiter nodded, understanding the situation. "Alright. Let me talk to him."

"Uh, I don't think he wants to do that. Kinda why I'm on the phone in the first place. Really Lassie you should know better. I'm disappointed. If you could see my face right now you would see my hurt look."

The phone was snatched by the robber and he spoke loudly on the phone. "Just get me what I want!" He angrily hung up.

"Jesus.." The detective hung up the phone and hung his arm by his side.

"Is he alright?" Gus stepped forward.

"Yeah, he's alone with the robber right now. What is he doing in the situation anyway? I mean, why is he at the bank in the first place?"

"I don't really know..He said something about having to take out some money for something but he really didn't give any details. I was surprised myself that he was up so early. It must be something important."

"Right…" Lassiter nodded but to someone else it would look like he couldn't care less. "Well in any case we need to get some pizzas." He started to walk toward other officers.

Gus followed. "Pizza?"

"Yeah it's what the robber wants, well, now thanks to Spencer…"

Gus nodded his head in understanding.

"…and we should keep him as happy as possible while the negotiator tries to talk to him. He sounds like a whack-job." He directed his attention to the officers. "We need pizzas, now."

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Inside, Shawn was sitting in a leather chair and leaned back as he tapped his fingers on the desk in front of him. In the room the robber was near the window, searching and scanning the outside, very nervously. Everyone else was locked in the back room and the key was in his pocket…of those filthy jeans.

"You probably shouldn't do that."

"Do what?" The robber didn't face him.

"Do..that. Be near the window. They're probably going to think that you're planning to shoot them or something. It won't end pretty."

The man looked nervously and Shawn could see him fidgeting with his hands and the gross hair and clothes that he was wearing. He looked down a lot and darted his eyes around. He sometimes had this look on his face like he was a lost puppy. A very dirty puppy.

"So…who was she?"

The other man started to take the advice and step away from the window. "What?"

"The girl you're missing. What; she dump you or something?"

"There is no girl."

"Come on it's in all of the movies. There's always a girl involved." He held his hands up as if that was a signal to be right.

"It's none of your business!" He swung his gun around in Shawn's direction.

The psychic watched the gun with his eyes. "Okay, okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

The guy nodded. "Damn right I don't…"

Before Shawn could say something else the phone rings, and the robber motions for Shawn to answer it.

"Hello~ This is the head psychic of the SBPD. I am currently being held hostage and if you happen to see Lassie could you please tell him that he is the peanut to my butter."

"…It's peanut butter to my jelly."

"I've heard it both ways."

Lassiter sighs. "Whatever. Listen Spencer, tell the loony that we have the pizzas ready. How does he want them delivered?"

"Hey, um excuse me robber?"

The guy looked over his shoulder.

"The pizza is here. They want to know how you want them delivered. Think hard though."

"Wh…" He stepped closer. "What would you do?"

Shawn looked up at the ceiling. "Well…I wouldn't have the pizza man himself come in; in fact," He held his hand to his head. "they already let him go. No, I would have a police officer bring it in here."

"Why would I do that?"

Shawn sighs. "Because if they send in a cop then they would have to be even more carefully about attacking in here. Plus, you can have a cop in here held hostage. That's a lot of power my man."

He nods. "Fine."

The psychic was surprised at how well he was complying. He knew he was easy to move around but he didn't think it would be this easy. "I would recommend Lassiter." He gets back to the phone. "We want the pizzas to be delivered by someone out there. Someone is in mind….who was it again…oh right Lassiter."

"Excuse me?!" Lassiter placed his hand on his hip. His coffee now gone. "We already have someone ready who is armed and ready for this kind of situation."

"No no he is very serious. He wants you Lassiter. In fact…I want you here too."

The head detective closed his eyes and groaned.

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"Was she older? Younger? Blonde?...Busty?"

The robber stared at Shawn. "You been a psychic all your life?"

"Practically. I can't see her now or anything. I'm just curious and asking random questions."

Before the other man could say something, there was a voice coming from outside from the horn.

Shawn jumped out of his seat. "Yay it's Lassie!" He skipped over to the door in an overly dramatic manner. Opening the door he held his arms out. "Lassie! You're here. Do you need help with those?"

Lassiter just stepped in with a scowl on his face and slammed the stacked boxes down on top of the nearest desk.

"Lassie you can't just slam those down like that. Even though you treat me rough it doesn't mean you can treat everything else like that."

The detective gave a look that was cold as ice. "Let's just get this over with. The negotiator is ready to speak with him."

"Negotiator?" The robber steps into the conversation, keeping his gun on Lassiter. "No one told me about a negotiator."

"No, listen man this is great." Shawn stepped next to the greasy man and placed a hand slightly on the shoulder. "No you can negotiate with the person with what you want. They have to listen to you man. You got too much power for them to let you down." He nodded his head.

"Right…" The robber also nodded his head.

"Look," Shawn started to lead the man closer to the door, taking the horn form Lassiter. "use this to communicate with them and tell them whose boss. You're the big man in all of this. Tell them what's up. And don't forget to look manly."

"I-I will…" The man stepped halfway out of the door while he began to bark orders to the officers outside while the negotiator tried to calm the man down.

Inside, Shawn walked up to a grumpy Lassiter who was standing by the desk of pizzas. "What's up my peanut? Glad you could join the party."

"Where is everyone else?"

"They are in that room." He pointed. "But Mr. Grease-ball has the key in his pocket. And I wouldn't try opening it with force. This guy is like a ticking time-bomb; he's very fragile and may go Chuck Norris on your ass. Or maybe Jackie Chan."

Lassiter held his hand to his head and groaned.

"Whoa, Lassie, sit down and eat something. You haven't had anything all day have you?"

"Well, no; I haven't."

"Well it's a good thing I ordered pizzas isn't it?" Shawn grinned and opened the top box. "You like pineapple?"

Lassiter gave him an evil scowl.

"You know you may like it if you would just try it." He put the top box aside and opened the second one. "Here, cheese and sausage."

As much as Lassiter didn't want to be involved in this he was in it too deep now. And that pizza did smell good. It would be unethical for him to not eat anything; he needed his strength for this operation. He didn't want to admit it but he was glad that Shawn was stupid enough to have the man demand pizzas. He took a slice and started to eat.

Shawn took a pineapple slice for himself. "Hmm I like fruit and you like sausage. We're two peas in a barrel."

"Peas in a pod, Spencer."

"Tomato, tornado."

"…What? Never mind why don't you tell me what the hell happened here?"

Shawn sighs. "Well, I went to the bank, obviously. And I knew they guy was going to rob the place so I tried to stop him but instead he took me as a pet and said that I would be useful. And I must say I have been a great help."

"You haven't done anything useful."

"Psshh what? I got the pizzas!"

Lassiter rolled his eyes.

"So how are we going to get out of this? Big strong man like you must have a plan, Mr. Head Detective."

He raised an eyebrow at the comment. "We are just going to sit here like good hostages and wait for them to do their thing."

Shawn moved around. "Ugh you know I don't like sitting still, or being a good boy." He gave an odd look at Lassiter.

"I know you're like an annoying little 9 year old but just sit down and shut up."

"What?!" Shawn shouted.

The robber looked back at them from the doorway.

"Ah! I'm….I'm getting a feeling…" He moved around the room with his hands to his head. "Him!" He pointed at Lassiter. "I will not do that with you, you sick, sick man!"

"Excuse me?" Lassiter stood up.

"What is going on?!" The robber stormed into the room.

"I'm…getting a strong sense that this man is going to take you down…take us all down! He has a sick plan in mind! It involves….rope…a feather, and a stool!"

The room was silent for a few moments.

"You!" Shawn pointed at the robber. "There's only one way to stop this. Let me handle him! There will be no trace…it will look like a suicide. I know my calling now. To serve you…oh..Mr. Robber…" His confidence in the last part started to slip.

"What the hell are you talking about Spencer?!"

The robber pointed his gun at the detective. "No, no that's good. I don't need the cop here anyway. Here." He handed something to Shawn. "Take care of him." He patted the psychic on the back.

"You are coming with me!" Shawn grabbed Lassiter by the arm and dragged him to a nearby door to open it and shut it, closing them in the room.

"What the-!"

Shawn put his finger to Lassiter's lips, shushing him.

They could hear the robber starting to talk with the negotiator again.

"Phew that was a close one huh?"

"Do you mind telling me why we are in here…SPENCER?"

"Woah no need to get crazy, Lassie. I figured we could come up with a plan."

"We couldn't have done that in the open room? He wasn't even paying attention to us!"

"Well, maybe I wanted to be closer to you. I feel we have started to drift apart Lassie; it's very sad."

Lassiter looked away and crossed his arms.

"See that! That right there. Open up to me man. Come on," he held out his arms. "You need a hug."

"Don't you dare come near me."

"Okay fine. I'm pretty sure you have a gun on you anyway and you'd shoot me." Shawn started to make fake crying noises. "I..I just thought that our friendship was something more…" He pretended to sniffle.

"Jesus..just stop it already. Alright fine let's come up with a plan."

"Good. Now, I already have one. It's gonna involve a close space, you in front, and both of us on our hands and knees."

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To be continued


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